Ups and Downs

L was scheduled for his pre-op appointment when my husband was out of town.  So my mom, who is always there for me, was with me for what I anticipated to be another rough day.  It was actually a breeze.  We did have to go several places, but everyone was so friendly and efficient.  Waits were minimal and a huge shout out to Brenner’s because they were so attentive to L and me.

We were told that L would be one of the first surgeries of the day.  We had planned to stay with my sister the night before so we could be at the hospital at 7AM on June 16.  We live approximately 1.5 hours from the hospital.

Can you believe this?  It was another hot day in North Carolina, and my sister did not have power.  At 7PM, we packed up and went to the hotel adjacent to the hospital.  I can say it was the longest and shortest night since L was born.  He was such a good boy for it to be his first time in a hotel room.  He was fast asleep in his pack-n-play.  I spent the ENTIRE night staring at him.  Oh how I wanted the night to end…to just be over…this feeling of dread.  And on the other hand, I never wanted the night to end…morning brought surgery on my baby’s head.

I prayed all night.  I tried my best to keep those terrible thoughts from creeping into my head.  What if something goes wrong…what if something goes terribly wrong?!?  It was only my faith in God that got me through that night.

I had to wake L up to get to the hospital on time.  No bottle…he had to fast.  He was such a trooper.  I hugged him as tight as possible and showered him with more kisses than you can imagine.  We drove the car to the hospital for one of the most stressful drives of our lives.  It was only five minutes away, and my husband and I were both so nervous that we didn’t know if we could make it without a restroom pit stop.  We made it.  I didn’t even want to take time to go to the restroom.  I wanted as much time as I could have with L before his surgery!